BEING GOOD ENOUGH

You know more than anyone else that I struggle with feeling enough for anyone. Especially women. Through my past and the experiences that come with if I have felt that I am to blame for most of the pain that I have felt. Abandonment. Inadequacy. Those are two huge phrases that come to mind when I think about it. From people finding joy with other men while with me to my own ideas that I can't live up to my parents' expectations and how I let them down I struggle with being good enough. When we moved to Denver I felt the weight of this because I had what I would dub as an identity crisis. It was so difficult for me to find myself and feel good enough when there was so much change around me. I have also not felt good enough for myself. I have expectations of myself of where I want to be; how I want to be. I let myself down when I am unable to make those things happen in the timelines that I confine myself within which adds to the weight of inadequacy. I am, every day, working on my self-esteem and feeling good enough. I must say that you have helped me make strides in this area with your comfort and soft approach. You show me that I am worthy of numerous things and that I am good enough for you. I am going to get there. There's just such a high 'self-made' bar that I have set or have told myself others have for me. In the end, I need to just be me and find love, trust, comfort & joy knowing that I am enough because it's who I am.